Waiting

I seem to manage to have spent a lot of my time lately chilling out (/procrastinating) on silly websites, usually part of the cheezburger network. These and webcomics I quite enjoy following, but I think I spend too much of my life looking at this pointless trivia, which whilst funny, adds nothing to my life and probably only distracts me from worthwhile things I could be doing.

But I also spend time looking at more personal ones. MyLifeIsAverage (MLIA) is great fun, with people's stories of something interesting happening (Much better than FML, full of depressing stories of what's gone wrong); but there are also some really poignant ones, like sixbillionsecrets and postsecret, where people leave their secrets that they feel they can't tell others. MakesMeThink (MMT) is quite profound too, with people's life experiences, from quirky to outright heartbreaking, that really make you stop and think.

Two of my favourites continue to inspire me to be a better person, and remind me that there is good in this world, even amongst all the tough stuff we have to go through (and I recognise that I am someone who experiences little of that). GivesMeHope is great, sharing about people's kind, selfless actions for others around them - friends, family and even strangers - and each day I look at it I am challenged to be a person more like that, who forgets themselves for the good of those around them. LoveGivesMeHope also leaves me with heartache - a website sharing some of the stories of people who's love has lasted for decades, through great struggles and beyond death. I always find myself longing when I leave that site, the stories there really touch me.

It's weird though, because I find myself caught between a 'now' and a 'then'. In the now I am challenged to be selfless before my friends, family, and yes, even strangers, but in the now I also don't have a wife, kids or grandkids to love. So I titled this post 'Waiting' because I can't wait for that moment. It sounds really weird (and some would probably say girly, but I suspect thats not PC) to say but these sites leave me longing for the girl I'll one day get to call my wife, because I can't wait for how much I'm going to love her and how much I want to do for her. I want to make all those romantic gestures, and sacrifice things for her benefit, and love her until we're old and wrinkly and can't walk up stairs faster than a snail. And I can't wait for kids to love and teach and show the world to, holding while they sleep and laughing with when they play games and looking after when they fall out with friends and so on. I honestly can't wait for that. And grandkids (can't imagine that one so much, but I bet it will be amazing too!).

So it's weird because I can't wait for, and really long for, these amazing life things that you can't rush. And I'm eager to make sure I don't try. I believe God has the right girl out there for me somewhere but, in the words of Michael Buble, I just haven't met her yet. The challenge then is to not rush into something with just any girl (not to say the girls I know are just any girl) but to make sure I wait for the one He has, because I believe that all of this stuff will come naturally with that.

This post has been a bit random, I know, but I just wanted somewhere to say out loud some of the things I occasionally think and feel, because I don't currently have that girl to share it with. So I will go on waiting, because anything that good is well worth the wait :-D