I know I'm not brilliant at blogging consistently - hopefully this next year and a half will be better.
Come September I'm going to be doing the World Race, all the info for which can be found at theworldrace.org. Also, as part of this, I will be blogging - partly between now and when I start, but regularly once I'm on the field.
I've already written a couple of starter blogs for it and an about me section. All of this can now be found at peterfrizelle.theworldrace.org.
See you there :-)
Monday, 17 January 2011
Thursday, 1 July 2010
Shallow
Man I feel so frustrated. Unfortunately I can't express it without sounding judgemental toward some people which I'm really not trying to be as my frustration is in generalities, so at the risk of offending some friends let me explain myself.
Basically I really feel that we have such a shallow Christianity here in Britain (and in the West in general). I'm finding cell groups at church to be so unchallenging, like I'm perpetually covering the same things over and over. Hebrews 5 says:
12In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God's word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! 13Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. 14But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.
There's no way to discuss this without sounding arrogant, but I real feel like I'm being given milk over and over and I really want some solid food! And I feel like churches never seem to get past giving out milk to everyone. Obviously we want everyone in the world to receive it and find the gospel, but I feel like church rarely knows what to do after that. For those of us who have come through it all and feel we could lead the message we're being brought it can get frustrating.
The other thing is that we discuss things in such a detached way. For instance, being poor. We talk about it in church like students are poor and discuss that, but let's face it - none of us have any idea what real poverty is. When have we ever had to go without food, or not had clothes to wear, or a house to stay in? Never! We discuss issues like beauty and wealth like we don't have them when we live in the west! WE HAVE THESE!
I'm just really keen to find a deep, life changing Christianity. I swear that we should be people who own nothing beyond basic clothes and food, who spend our time changing the lives of those in need around us. And the truth is I have literally no idea how to do this. Right now I just really want to find people who feel the same, that will enter into this kind of endeavour with me.
Christianity follows a man who owned nothing, had nowhere to live, who was hated, who had "nothing beautiful or majestic about his appearance, nothing to attract us to him", yet used his life (and his death) to the benefit of anyone who was nearby. I really wish I was that, and I think as the church we should all be aiming to be that.
I really don't know how to express more of the frustrations I'm feeling but I hope that gives a slight taste of the tip of it. A frustration to see a radically different world where Jesus walks and talks in us.
Basically I really feel that we have such a shallow Christianity here in Britain (and in the West in general). I'm finding cell groups at church to be so unchallenging, like I'm perpetually covering the same things over and over. Hebrews 5 says:
12In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God's word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! 13Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. 14But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.
There's no way to discuss this without sounding arrogant, but I real feel like I'm being given milk over and over and I really want some solid food! And I feel like churches never seem to get past giving out milk to everyone. Obviously we want everyone in the world to receive it and find the gospel, but I feel like church rarely knows what to do after that. For those of us who have come through it all and feel we could lead the message we're being brought it can get frustrating.
The other thing is that we discuss things in such a detached way. For instance, being poor. We talk about it in church like students are poor and discuss that, but let's face it - none of us have any idea what real poverty is. When have we ever had to go without food, or not had clothes to wear, or a house to stay in? Never! We discuss issues like beauty and wealth like we don't have them when we live in the west! WE HAVE THESE!
I'm just really keen to find a deep, life changing Christianity. I swear that we should be people who own nothing beyond basic clothes and food, who spend our time changing the lives of those in need around us. And the truth is I have literally no idea how to do this. Right now I just really want to find people who feel the same, that will enter into this kind of endeavour with me.
Christianity follows a man who owned nothing, had nowhere to live, who was hated, who had "nothing beautiful or majestic about his appearance, nothing to attract us to him", yet used his life (and his death) to the benefit of anyone who was nearby. I really wish I was that, and I think as the church we should all be aiming to be that.
I really don't know how to express more of the frustrations I'm feeling but I hope that gives a slight taste of the tip of it. A frustration to see a radically different world where Jesus walks and talks in us.
Tuesday, 22 June 2010
Waiting
I seem to manage to have spent a lot of my time lately chilling out (/procrastinating) on silly websites, usually part of the cheezburger network. These and webcomics I quite enjoy following, but I think I spend too much of my life looking at this pointless trivia, which whilst funny, adds nothing to my life and probably only distracts me from worthwhile things I could be doing.
But I also spend time looking at more personal ones. MyLifeIsAverage (MLIA) is great fun, with people's stories of something interesting happening (Much better than FML, full of depressing stories of what's gone wrong); but there are also some really poignant ones, like sixbillionsecrets and postsecret, where people leave their secrets that they feel they can't tell others. MakesMeThink (MMT) is quite profound too, with people's life experiences, from quirky to outright heartbreaking, that really make you stop and think.
Two of my favourites continue to inspire me to be a better person, and remind me that there is good in this world, even amongst all the tough stuff we have to go through (and I recognise that I am someone who experiences little of that). GivesMeHope is great, sharing about people's kind, selfless actions for others around them - friends, family and even strangers - and each day I look at it I am challenged to be a person more like that, who forgets themselves for the good of those around them. LoveGivesMeHope also leaves me with heartache - a website sharing some of the stories of people who's love has lasted for decades, through great struggles and beyond death. I always find myself longing when I leave that site, the stories there really touch me.
It's weird though, because I find myself caught between a 'now' and a 'then'. In the now I am challenged to be selfless before my friends, family, and yes, even strangers, but in the now I also don't have a wife, kids or grandkids to love. So I titled this post 'Waiting' because I can't wait for that moment. It sounds really weird (and some would probably say girly, but I suspect thats not PC) to say but these sites leave me longing for the girl I'll one day get to call my wife, because I can't wait for how much I'm going to love her and how much I want to do for her. I want to make all those romantic gestures, and sacrifice things for her benefit, and love her until we're old and wrinkly and can't walk up stairs faster than a snail. And I can't wait for kids to love and teach and show the world to, holding while they sleep and laughing with when they play games and looking after when they fall out with friends and so on. I honestly can't wait for that. And grandkids (can't imagine that one so much, but I bet it will be amazing too!).
So it's weird because I can't wait for, and really long for, these amazing life things that you can't rush. And I'm eager to make sure I don't try. I believe God has the right girl out there for me somewhere but, in the words of Michael Buble, I just haven't met her yet. The challenge then is to not rush into something with just any girl (not to say the girls I know are just any girl) but to make sure I wait for the one He has, because I believe that all of this stuff will come naturally with that.
This post has been a bit random, I know, but I just wanted somewhere to say out loud some of the things I occasionally think and feel, because I don't currently have that girl to share it with. So I will go on waiting, because anything that good is well worth the wait :-D
Sunday, 10 January 2010
Breaking in
Every now and then God breaks in and it rocks.
I've just had one of those kinda experiences looking through a couple of friends blogs and being reminded that He is at work in so many deep and amazing ways.
I wanted to relay a conversation I had the other day, since this is the place I write these kind of things. I'm having an up and down time with God, just cause I'm forgetting to spend time with Him as often as I know would be good.
Anyway, I was at home and when I'm at home I kinda end up neglecting time with God, probably because I'm completely out of any kind of schedule. But I was at home one evening with nothing to do (I hate that it takes me having nothing to do to remember to spend time with God, I should be prioritising it) so decided to go out to the park and spend some time praying about whatever I could think of. I don't necessarily have any sort of plan when I do this, I just kinda go for it. It starts with "what should I pray about?" and struggling to start, but then once I start praying for something I realise all the other things that there are and think "I don't have time to pray for all of this!" So I was praying for my friends and family back home, for what God has done in some of them in the last year and for what I'm petitioning Him to do in others and so on. But in the midst of it we just ended up going off on one.
I don't think too many people (especially outside the church) consider prayer to be a conversation but this definitely was. Not in the sense that I could hear an audible voice, but I knew what He was saying. And it's just odd cause it was in the midst of talking about other stuff that this, completely different topic, arose. But it's cool that God interjects in the midst of real life.
So the issue in question was that of singleness. And that's what was impressive - it is a key area and God chose to speak to me about it in the midst of me talking to Him about other stuff, because I give Him space to move.
I spent some time recently crushing on a friend of mine. No details, but that's all it was - there's nothing happening with said girl but sometimes it's nice to nurse feelings for someone. But actually that's kinda an issue - I knew there wasn't anything there but wanted to let myself develop feelings for her because it was nicer than not having anyone.
And God has challenged me on that. The challenge was this - "If I asked you to be single for the rest of your life and dedicate yourself to My Kingdom would you do it?" Wow. How to answer that, I thought to myself. Because I have to be completely honest, that sounds like a rubbish request - I like girls, I want to get married some day and have kids etc. "But would you give it up for Me and the Kingdom if I asked you to?" Well, You know best and there's nothing more important than Your Kingdom, but do I really have to give up those things? I'm not sure I want to commit to that... I ended up on a whole theoretical conversation with Him about how if I didn't, wouldn't the work of His Kingdom still get done since He's sovereign and not dependent on me, etc, and how getting married and having kids is as valid a use of my life as giving all of that up and pursuing just the work of His Kingdom, but I had to come back to the first question. If it is what He asked of me, would I do it? Unfortunately there is only really one answer you can give to God in a situation like that. Yes. "I really don't want to to be honest with you Lord, and as hard as it is for me to say this, Yes, if you ask that of me I would do it". And it wasn't said with resentment, because that's not really saying it properly. It was said with faith and trust, knowing that He knows what's best for me. As really hard as it is to say, and let's not forget that, it is sooo hard to say yes to, I would say yes. Fortunately, He hasn't said that as such yet. But His challenge went further. "Have I made it clear who I have for you?" No God, you haven't. "Then unless I make clear to whether I have someone, you should live as though I have called you to singleness". Ok. Wow. So it was this challenge to assume that I am called to singleness and to live that way, unless God makes it clear that He has someone for me and who that someone is.
I can't say I'm finding this easy to live up to but I'm on the way there. Because the thing is I've been living in the assumption that I'm supposed to find someone and so I've been looking at every Christian girl as a potential partner, and weighing up how we might work together, and nursing feelings for individuals, etc, etc instead of trusting God with it all. Of course a problem I've just recently realised with this is I might end up with someone I shouldn't and I'd always be wondering if I got with them because I was impatient, etc, and have missed God's calling, etc.
Instead, I should be living assuming that I'm called to singleness and that none of the girls I know or meet are potential partners. Then if God should be to make someone clear to me then I would know and always know.
So yeah, that's where I'm at, that's what God has given me a big challenge on recently. Live as though you are called to singleness, unless He makes it clear that someone is for me, instead of trying to work out who out of every girl I know is for me.
Friday, 18 December 2009
Wow time to reflect
I haven't had as much free time as I'm having this holiday for ages and I'm finding myself to be quite reflective. Maybe my schedule is too busy in Portsmouth.
Having time with nothing to do seems like a new thing for me and I'm not sure if that's good or bad. On the one hand it's nice to have free time and not have this and that to be doing etc etc, but on the other hand I really like making the most of every minute so having time 'to kill' is something that I'm not comfortable with. I've only got one life, I wanna make the most of it and squeeze everything I can from it, not for me but for His glory.
I wonder about having me time. I quite like having things to do with my time that lead to other outcomes - sorting things for the Christian Union, getting coursework done, earning some money or just plain building good, deep, meaningful friendships with people I know - but time to just veg and do nothing I'm not so big on.
I want to make the most of my free time this holiday and do what matters. I put some films on my laptop but I only really want to use those when I'm travelling on the coach/train and I really can't do anything else. I don't wanna spend my holiday as a couch potato. It's been nice visiting old placements and seeing people, but catching up only goes so far and I could probably have done what I've allowed 2/3 days for in 1 day. It's slightly true of home too, there's only so many people I can catch up with before I've run out of things to do, I have some Uni work to finish but I need to make sure I get some time to rest and be away from that as well.
So I wanna try and push myself to invest as much time and energy I can into the relationship that matters most - spending serious time in prayer, worship and the bible in my free time.
Let's see how it goes eh.
Having time with nothing to do seems like a new thing for me and I'm not sure if that's good or bad. On the one hand it's nice to have free time and not have this and that to be doing etc etc, but on the other hand I really like making the most of every minute so having time 'to kill' is something that I'm not comfortable with. I've only got one life, I wanna make the most of it and squeeze everything I can from it, not for me but for His glory.
I wonder about having me time. I quite like having things to do with my time that lead to other outcomes - sorting things for the Christian Union, getting coursework done, earning some money or just plain building good, deep, meaningful friendships with people I know - but time to just veg and do nothing I'm not so big on.
I want to make the most of my free time this holiday and do what matters. I put some films on my laptop but I only really want to use those when I'm travelling on the coach/train and I really can't do anything else. I don't wanna spend my holiday as a couch potato. It's been nice visiting old placements and seeing people, but catching up only goes so far and I could probably have done what I've allowed 2/3 days for in 1 day. It's slightly true of home too, there's only so many people I can catch up with before I've run out of things to do, I have some Uni work to finish but I need to make sure I get some time to rest and be away from that as well.
So I wanna try and push myself to invest as much time and energy I can into the relationship that matters most - spending serious time in prayer, worship and the bible in my free time.
Let's see how it goes eh.
Thursday, 10 December 2009
It's only been a year
Welcome to my blogging habits:
- use the blog for several weeks in a row.
- Have no time/forget and don't use it for a year.
- Come back and carry on.
A lot can happen in a year though. And a lot has.
In some ways I wish I had documented it. It's really interesting to come back and see what was on my heart and mind a year ago and how things have really developed since.
I can't sum up the last year, too much to cover. Key parts would include being Vice President of the Christian Union and all the joys and struggles that that has been.
God has really been working through me and giving me new outlooks and lessons and although I always find it hard to highlight how I've grown over a period of time I know I have.
Without being able to go into detail here's some things:
- Giving me an eternal perspective - what's the point in doing, saying, buying, etc anything if all it does is maintain something of the status quo here on earth. The only things worth using our time and resources is on is that which will have an impact on eternity. The best illustration I got for this was from John Ortberg - You wouldn't decorate a motel room you were staying in for a week, so why spend all your efforts on things in this life when it's so temporary?
- Showing me my arrogance - this is related to starting in leadership in CU and how I thought I knew everything I needed to do and what would work best instead of being teachable and letting God, and those wiser and more experienced than me, help me out.
- Challenging me to speak out - it's not enough to just have people know that I am a Christian - I need to be someone who declares the Gospel.
I could probably go on if I racked my brains but (as usual) this post is probably too long already.
I'll do what I can to remember to put updates on my life and walk with God.
- use the blog for several weeks in a row.
- Have no time/forget and don't use it for a year.
- Come back and carry on.
A lot can happen in a year though. And a lot has.
In some ways I wish I had documented it. It's really interesting to come back and see what was on my heart and mind a year ago and how things have really developed since.
I can't sum up the last year, too much to cover. Key parts would include being Vice President of the Christian Union and all the joys and struggles that that has been.
God has really been working through me and giving me new outlooks and lessons and although I always find it hard to highlight how I've grown over a period of time I know I have.
Without being able to go into detail here's some things:
- Giving me an eternal perspective - what's the point in doing, saying, buying, etc anything if all it does is maintain something of the status quo here on earth. The only things worth using our time and resources is on is that which will have an impact on eternity. The best illustration I got for this was from John Ortberg - You wouldn't decorate a motel room you were staying in for a week, so why spend all your efforts on things in this life when it's so temporary?
- Showing me my arrogance - this is related to starting in leadership in CU and how I thought I knew everything I needed to do and what would work best instead of being teachable and letting God, and those wiser and more experienced than me, help me out.
- Challenging me to speak out - it's not enough to just have people know that I am a Christian - I need to be someone who declares the Gospel.
I could probably go on if I racked my brains but (as usual) this post is probably too long already.
I'll do what I can to remember to put updates on my life and walk with God.
Sunday, 11 January 2009
Love, love, love
As much as I know that this is key, I seem to need to be constantly reminded of it.
I have found faith and things a real challenge recently if I'm honest. Even though I have been talking about all the amazing ways that I have felt challenged by God to grow, I've felt somewhat overwhelmed. It's like I could see how all of the bits of the jigsaw fitted together better than ever before, but I found myself doubting whether the jigsaw even existed. That's not a great analogy, I know. An ever so slightly better one perhaps - it's like I was understanding the theory behind black holes in more and more complex detail, but was doubting the existence of them anyway. If that makes sense.
Even though I have felt that I have learned so much from God and been challenged afresh by Him in so many ways, I found myself struggling with faith as a whole. Taking, for instance, how my understanding of speaking into people's lives has grown and my willingness to pray for people to be healed, I haven't seen any healings yet and that has been really discouraging.
It built up over the term too, and over Christmas I was feeling really dragged down by it, even when I was able to see things in terms of persecution (spiritual) being an encouragement because it speaks of opposition when going the right way.
But on Thursday I went to The Gathering at Kings church, and we spent the whole time waiting on God's presence. I can never explain what that's like to anyone, but it was so amazing. I was with God in such a close way that I haven't felt properly for ages, and it just kinda made everything ok again.
I realised some things that are central to everything, and I think I had lost that whilst discovering the detail in the outer areas. Love.
I realised that I cannot heal anyone. I cannot make anyone come to church. I cannot even make anyone understand the gospel. I can pursue those things, and I should, but I cannot make them happen.
All I can do is love God and love others.
And that is what counts.
I have found faith and things a real challenge recently if I'm honest. Even though I have been talking about all the amazing ways that I have felt challenged by God to grow, I've felt somewhat overwhelmed. It's like I could see how all of the bits of the jigsaw fitted together better than ever before, but I found myself doubting whether the jigsaw even existed. That's not a great analogy, I know. An ever so slightly better one perhaps - it's like I was understanding the theory behind black holes in more and more complex detail, but was doubting the existence of them anyway. If that makes sense.
Even though I have felt that I have learned so much from God and been challenged afresh by Him in so many ways, I found myself struggling with faith as a whole. Taking, for instance, how my understanding of speaking into people's lives has grown and my willingness to pray for people to be healed, I haven't seen any healings yet and that has been really discouraging.
It built up over the term too, and over Christmas I was feeling really dragged down by it, even when I was able to see things in terms of persecution (spiritual) being an encouragement because it speaks of opposition when going the right way.
But on Thursday I went to The Gathering at Kings church, and we spent the whole time waiting on God's presence. I can never explain what that's like to anyone, but it was so amazing. I was with God in such a close way that I haven't felt properly for ages, and it just kinda made everything ok again.
I realised some things that are central to everything, and I think I had lost that whilst discovering the detail in the outer areas. Love.
I realised that I cannot heal anyone. I cannot make anyone come to church. I cannot even make anyone understand the gospel. I can pursue those things, and I should, but I cannot make them happen.
All I can do is love God and love others.
And that is what counts.
Sorting the wheat from the chaff
A wonder/worry of mine.
I believe all of these challenges, when taken seriously, will sort the wheat from the chaff, to use a phrase of Jesus'.
If I were to stand up in church, or CU, and put forward all of the things I have written about I think it would stir up negative responses even from the people there, before it even goes outside the Christian body.
Because, taking the last post as reference, people will not be happy to be told that we are to speak to people and challenge them. People in church even want to do things their way, to be seen as nice, not to offend. But this is why I think a lot of churches split, and new denominations form - those who recognise that following Christ is more than just sitting in their comfort zone get into an unavoidable conflict with those who don't like being made to grow. I know that the old testament Jews rejected the prophets, kicked them out and even killed them, even though they were speaking the truth, and I wonder and worry about what will happen if I take these challenges I'm encountering on seriously. Will I be rejected by some Christians, let alone non-Christians?
All I know is that I am building up a more detailed and amazing (albeit challenging) picture of what it means to follow God and see Him work and I will pursure that more and more.
I believe all of these challenges, when taken seriously, will sort the wheat from the chaff, to use a phrase of Jesus'.
If I were to stand up in church, or CU, and put forward all of the things I have written about I think it would stir up negative responses even from the people there, before it even goes outside the Christian body.
Because, taking the last post as reference, people will not be happy to be told that we are to speak to people and challenge them. People in church even want to do things their way, to be seen as nice, not to offend. But this is why I think a lot of churches split, and new denominations form - those who recognise that following Christ is more than just sitting in their comfort zone get into an unavoidable conflict with those who don't like being made to grow. I know that the old testament Jews rejected the prophets, kicked them out and even killed them, even though they were speaking the truth, and I wonder and worry about what will happen if I take these challenges I'm encountering on seriously. Will I be rejected by some Christians, let alone non-Christians?
All I know is that I am building up a more detailed and amazing (albeit challenging) picture of what it means to follow God and see Him work and I will pursure that more and more.
Saturday, 10 January 2009
A bit of connection
Another thing I worked out at CU (don't ask me what we were supposed to be doing, I got all this instead :-P), was a bit of a combination of a load of things I've written about before,
I do rememmber actually - we were talking about evangelism amongst our peers, and answering people when they ask us.
But I really feel I have to challenge that. I think that if we wait for people to ask us about our faith, it will be ages before we ever get anywhere, and it will be an incredibly slow process. Jesus, Paul, the Apostles didn't wait, but went around speaking into people's lives.
I think we need to be prepared, as I have discussed before, to speak directly to people about Jesus and not be afraid of what they think.
To balance this though, I don't advocate a soap-box method of hell-fire and brimstone shouting. I still think there is a right way to go about it, which is not that.
I believe to be heard we need to earn the right to speak. Whilst I have mentioned that Jesus and Paul just went and spoke without waiting to be asked, I still think that they earned the right to speak. Jesus didn't start his ministry until he was 30 and a fully trained Rabbi. In his cultural setting by spending all that time in training, he had earned, in the eyes of the people, the right to speak. (Now Jesus also spoke with an authority that made him stand out from his contemporaries, and I believe we need that, but don't have the time or knowledge to discuss that right now). Paul also was a top ranking Pharisee and recognised for this. He also went to places were speaking was practiced - synagogues, philosophers gatherings - as well as doing background research (so to speak) about the people he was speaking to (he wandered around Athens getting a feel for his audiences religiosity). And so too I believe we need to earn the right to speak to the people around us, and I would argue that this involves speaking at the right time and place and getting to know the people you are speaking to.
I don't agree with waiting for people to ask us, because even though it's scary, I am convinced the correct path is to speak into people's lives directy, having earned the right to do so.
To link it back to older thoughts, I think that we're going to be hated. What we have to say is offensive to people and in today's culture we are going to be considered arrogant, closed-minded and foolish, but we need to speak out. This is why we are afraid to speak to people, because we are worried they will think this of us, but think - when someone disagrees with you strongly they are vocal about it back to you, unafraid of you disliking them. They consider what they have to say more important than what you think of them. How much more should this be true of us as Christians with the message that we have of Jesus?
We need to speak out, regardless of the outcome, having earned the right to speak. We need to not worry about what they think, but speak the truth. Read the below:
1 Peter 3:15-17
We are probably familiar with the first verse, but look at the rest. We need to not be afraid of what people think or say when we share the good news. Because even if they are malicious about us, they will be ashamed if we are living Christlike lives. If we are living good lives, and are connected in Unity (as in my last post), then even if they disagree with what we say, they will be ashamed to speak against us.
Because the other thing is it is more important for us to correct people and guide them in truth than be quiet and have them think we are "nice people". We have this bad habit of thinking that if people think we are nice then they'll be attracted to God, because they'll see Him as nice too. But they don't see Him as nice even if we are nice. They'll think He is powerless, uncaring with no strong important views to express, happy with them as they are because they haven't heard otherwise. We need to help others get to know Jesus, because that is the most important thing going.
So we need to live lives worthy of Jesus, be connected in Unity and, having earned the right to speak through our love and kindness in our friendships, we can speak to them about the good news, even if it seems tough.
BUT.
This is why persecution will happen. We know that persecution is a good sign, because it's what happens to true followers of Christ. But we seem to think that it will happen because one day some non-Christians will decide they don't like Christians. This isn't true. The reason that Christians get persecuted is that they speak the truth boldy and fearlessly, even when it flies in the face of society and strong opposition. It happens because Christians tell people that everyone is sinful when people don't want to hear that, it happens because Christians tell people they need God when people want to be self sufficient and do what they want to do. The world will persecute Christians because Christians make them uncomfortable. (Keep in mind that as much as it is important to say these things, they are always to be done with gentleness and respect, having earned the right to speak through love and kindness). That is why Godly people will be persecuted. That is how we will hurt them (salt and light in previous post, what we say will hurt). That is why we'll suffer (because people will hate us, possibly attack us, family may disown us, because we say and do what is right, in the face of an opposing society, group or individual).
I realise that this is really tough, but this isn't a call to condemn people for certain sins or anything, but a call to speak the gospel boldly to people. For me this massively connects a whole load of the things that I have been thinking about and is, again, challenge that as a Christian I must take, despite discomfort, despite fear, despite possible opposition, persecution, rejection and so on.
We must speak out to people, in truth and love, having earned the right with our lives and our love, even with the possibility of bad outcomes. For Jesus sake.
I do rememmber actually - we were talking about evangelism amongst our peers, and answering people when they ask us.
But I really feel I have to challenge that. I think that if we wait for people to ask us about our faith, it will be ages before we ever get anywhere, and it will be an incredibly slow process. Jesus, Paul, the Apostles didn't wait, but went around speaking into people's lives.
I think we need to be prepared, as I have discussed before, to speak directly to people about Jesus and not be afraid of what they think.
To balance this though, I don't advocate a soap-box method of hell-fire and brimstone shouting. I still think there is a right way to go about it, which is not that.
I believe to be heard we need to earn the right to speak. Whilst I have mentioned that Jesus and Paul just went and spoke without waiting to be asked, I still think that they earned the right to speak. Jesus didn't start his ministry until he was 30 and a fully trained Rabbi. In his cultural setting by spending all that time in training, he had earned, in the eyes of the people, the right to speak. (Now Jesus also spoke with an authority that made him stand out from his contemporaries, and I believe we need that, but don't have the time or knowledge to discuss that right now). Paul also was a top ranking Pharisee and recognised for this. He also went to places were speaking was practiced - synagogues, philosophers gatherings - as well as doing background research (so to speak) about the people he was speaking to (he wandered around Athens getting a feel for his audiences religiosity). And so too I believe we need to earn the right to speak to the people around us, and I would argue that this involves speaking at the right time and place and getting to know the people you are speaking to.
I don't agree with waiting for people to ask us, because even though it's scary, I am convinced the correct path is to speak into people's lives directy, having earned the right to do so.
To link it back to older thoughts, I think that we're going to be hated. What we have to say is offensive to people and in today's culture we are going to be considered arrogant, closed-minded and foolish, but we need to speak out. This is why we are afraid to speak to people, because we are worried they will think this of us, but think - when someone disagrees with you strongly they are vocal about it back to you, unafraid of you disliking them. They consider what they have to say more important than what you think of them. How much more should this be true of us as Christians with the message that we have of Jesus?
We need to speak out, regardless of the outcome, having earned the right to speak. We need to not worry about what they think, but speak the truth. Read the below:
1 Peter 3:15-17
We are probably familiar with the first verse, but look at the rest. We need to not be afraid of what people think or say when we share the good news. Because even if they are malicious about us, they will be ashamed if we are living Christlike lives. If we are living good lives, and are connected in Unity (as in my last post), then even if they disagree with what we say, they will be ashamed to speak against us.
Because the other thing is it is more important for us to correct people and guide them in truth than be quiet and have them think we are "nice people". We have this bad habit of thinking that if people think we are nice then they'll be attracted to God, because they'll see Him as nice too. But they don't see Him as nice even if we are nice. They'll think He is powerless, uncaring with no strong important views to express, happy with them as they are because they haven't heard otherwise. We need to help others get to know Jesus, because that is the most important thing going.
So we need to live lives worthy of Jesus, be connected in Unity and, having earned the right to speak through our love and kindness in our friendships, we can speak to them about the good news, even if it seems tough.
BUT.
This is why persecution will happen. We know that persecution is a good sign, because it's what happens to true followers of Christ. But we seem to think that it will happen because one day some non-Christians will decide they don't like Christians. This isn't true. The reason that Christians get persecuted is that they speak the truth boldy and fearlessly, even when it flies in the face of society and strong opposition. It happens because Christians tell people that everyone is sinful when people don't want to hear that, it happens because Christians tell people they need God when people want to be self sufficient and do what they want to do. The world will persecute Christians because Christians make them uncomfortable. (Keep in mind that as much as it is important to say these things, they are always to be done with gentleness and respect, having earned the right to speak through love and kindness). That is why Godly people will be persecuted. That is how we will hurt them (salt and light in previous post, what we say will hurt). That is why we'll suffer (because people will hate us, possibly attack us, family may disown us, because we say and do what is right, in the face of an opposing society, group or individual).
I realise that this is really tough, but this isn't a call to condemn people for certain sins or anything, but a call to speak the gospel boldly to people. For me this massively connects a whole load of the things that I have been thinking about and is, again, challenge that as a Christian I must take, despite discomfort, despite fear, despite possible opposition, persecution, rejection and so on.
We must speak out to people, in truth and love, having earned the right with our lives and our love, even with the possibility of bad outcomes. For Jesus sake.
Be like Trinity (not the one from the Matrix)
This was interesting.
I got this whilst at Christian Union on Monday, even though this wasn't really what CU was about.
In John 17, Jesus prays in Gethsemane, and we looked at verses 20-26, where he prays for all those who will become his disciples in the future. It's the things he prayed about that have made me think. Go and look at it here:
John 17:20-26
The reason I figure that this is important is because this is the only thing that we know of that Jesus prayed for for you and me. Out of all the things that he teaches, all the things that he says, this is the only recorded time he prays for us, so I figure what he had to say is of primary importance.
His focus is not that we would have health, not that we would be wealthy, not that we would be strong, not that we would have spiritual gifts, not even that we would bear fruit (as important as any of these things may be). Jesus prayer is that we would have unity in love.
Wow. This is a massive challenge though, it's not some nice thought. Think about what I've just said about how this is the only recorded time, and what that means for the importance of this. It's central. But it's tough, because look at the words that he uses. "all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you", and "let them be in complete unity". !!! !!! !!!
Jesus wants us to have the same unity in the church that exists between him and the Father.
That is not a small order if you want to think about it.
This involves vulnerability, honesty, involvement, intimacy.
This involves sharing with each other EVERYTHING! Which I'm guessing is why the church is not the church that it should be yet.
Imagine if, as Christians, we all lived like that. That we spoke to each other about EVERYTHING. Not that we spoke to our best friend, but that we shared as a church. That we shared our joys, but that also we shared our struggles. If every time we found something difficult we told people as soon as they asked. That if every time we were upset we told people when they asked "how are you?". Imagine if we shared with each other that much, and had love for each other that was that deep.
That is what Jesus wants for us! It's what he prays for. He also prays that we would be one with him as much as he is one with the Father, which sounds to me like that makes us part of the trinity, which I don't quite get, but what I do know is that he wants us to have relationships with each other within church, within CU, etc that are as close and as intimate and as involved as the Father is with the Son is with the Spirit is with the Father and so on.
That's the church I'm looking for. That's the CU I'm gonna push for. That's the challenge of the moment. Let's create a church that is as connected and loving of each other as the Trinity. It's what Jesus wants :-D
I got this whilst at Christian Union on Monday, even though this wasn't really what CU was about.
In John 17, Jesus prays in Gethsemane, and we looked at verses 20-26, where he prays for all those who will become his disciples in the future. It's the things he prayed about that have made me think. Go and look at it here:
John 17:20-26
The reason I figure that this is important is because this is the only thing that we know of that Jesus prayed for for you and me. Out of all the things that he teaches, all the things that he says, this is the only recorded time he prays for us, so I figure what he had to say is of primary importance.
His focus is not that we would have health, not that we would be wealthy, not that we would be strong, not that we would have spiritual gifts, not even that we would bear fruit (as important as any of these things may be). Jesus prayer is that we would have unity in love.
Wow. This is a massive challenge though, it's not some nice thought. Think about what I've just said about how this is the only recorded time, and what that means for the importance of this. It's central. But it's tough, because look at the words that he uses. "all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you", and "let them be in complete unity". !!! !!! !!!
Jesus wants us to have the same unity in the church that exists between him and the Father.
That is not a small order if you want to think about it.
This involves vulnerability, honesty, involvement, intimacy.
This involves sharing with each other EVERYTHING! Which I'm guessing is why the church is not the church that it should be yet.
Imagine if, as Christians, we all lived like that. That we spoke to each other about EVERYTHING. Not that we spoke to our best friend, but that we shared as a church. That we shared our joys, but that also we shared our struggles. If every time we found something difficult we told people as soon as they asked. That if every time we were upset we told people when they asked "how are you?". Imagine if we shared with each other that much, and had love for each other that was that deep.
That is what Jesus wants for us! It's what he prays for. He also prays that we would be one with him as much as he is one with the Father, which sounds to me like that makes us part of the trinity, which I don't quite get, but what I do know is that he wants us to have relationships with each other within church, within CU, etc that are as close and as intimate and as involved as the Father is with the Son is with the Spirit is with the Father and so on.
That's the church I'm looking for. That's the CU I'm gonna push for. That's the challenge of the moment. Let's create a church that is as connected and loving of each other as the Trinity. It's what Jesus wants :-D
Sunday, 28 December 2008
Life
Lol. I wonder if I need to clarify things at all. I'm not in hard place in the sense of feeling bad, upset, sad or anything. Just challenged. And I wish to share of my challenges with you. :-)
Saturday, 27 December 2008
Refining
So I don't know if I've made clear how challenging I've found the, well, challenges that I've spoken about before. This has been a real testing time for me and to be honest I've found it really hard. I still do. The more and more I look to meet these challenges, these things I know are right, the harder I realise that it is.
I have been really feeling the weight of these challenges and so really thinking about how much easier giving it all up is. I mean, I don't want to give it up, I want to strive on, but I do want to, because it would be so much easier (plus I'd get to go and do things my own morals restrict me from at the moment). This pressure to give up and leave it all is definitely mounting (prayer please). Some comfort I had today though was when I realised what that might imply.
For one thing it spoke to me of how when we start doing important things and really going for God and His Kingdom, Satan starts hounding us and making things very difficult and painful. So, since I feel somewhat hounded by all this and I'm finding it difficult, I draw encouragement from the fact that this shows how Satan is fighting against me. If he's doing that then I'm on to something good. Something big, something important, and something threatening to the kingdom of darkness. I must press on, I must overcome darkness with light.
The other thing I remembered was about refining fire. To purify gold takes a very hot fire and the removal of wrong things. I feel that my understanding and attitudes are being challenged. Tested by fire so to speak. And whilst this is difficult and in a sense painful, the fact, again, that it is happening suggests to me that good change is going on inside me. In which case bring it on. Hurt me more. Turn up the heat and get rid from me everything that is wrong. Purify me so that Your reflection can be seen in me.
Finally, I drew encouragement from a simple illustration I just experienced. I have been feeling that whilst all of this good change is starting to come about in me, the more I see things as how they could and should be, the more I see how very very very far from that they are. This seems so discouraging because the more I feel that I am being changed in these, I am convinced, incredibly good ways, the further I feel from being like the average Joe out there who doesn't know God. How am I supposed to connect with the next person on the street, let alone help them move from the understanding the kingdom of darkness would keep them in to that of God's kingdom?
I don't know the answer to that question and it would seem that the more I grow in these ways the further every one else seems and so much more insurmountable the task of helping them move appears. I really don't know what I am supposed to do. But I was encouraged because as I passed a body of water and gazed at the stillness of it, I felt compelled drop a stone into it. As I did so I watched the ripples move outward until the whole body of water was affected.
Now, although I don't know at all how to change the world or help others come to Jesus, I am convinced that as I seek God's refining in me, the changes He makes can have an affect that will ripple out to potentially everyone I encounter and more. I pray that God would raise up a generation who would go all out for God, counting the cost but reaping the reward for Him.
I have been really feeling the weight of these challenges and so really thinking about how much easier giving it all up is. I mean, I don't want to give it up, I want to strive on, but I do want to, because it would be so much easier (plus I'd get to go and do things my own morals restrict me from at the moment). This pressure to give up and leave it all is definitely mounting (prayer please). Some comfort I had today though was when I realised what that might imply.
For one thing it spoke to me of how when we start doing important things and really going for God and His Kingdom, Satan starts hounding us and making things very difficult and painful. So, since I feel somewhat hounded by all this and I'm finding it difficult, I draw encouragement from the fact that this shows how Satan is fighting against me. If he's doing that then I'm on to something good. Something big, something important, and something threatening to the kingdom of darkness. I must press on, I must overcome darkness with light.
The other thing I remembered was about refining fire. To purify gold takes a very hot fire and the removal of wrong things. I feel that my understanding and attitudes are being challenged. Tested by fire so to speak. And whilst this is difficult and in a sense painful, the fact, again, that it is happening suggests to me that good change is going on inside me. In which case bring it on. Hurt me more. Turn up the heat and get rid from me everything that is wrong. Purify me so that Your reflection can be seen in me.
Finally, I drew encouragement from a simple illustration I just experienced. I have been feeling that whilst all of this good change is starting to come about in me, the more I see things as how they could and should be, the more I see how very very very far from that they are. This seems so discouraging because the more I feel that I am being changed in these, I am convinced, incredibly good ways, the further I feel from being like the average Joe out there who doesn't know God. How am I supposed to connect with the next person on the street, let alone help them move from the understanding the kingdom of darkness would keep them in to that of God's kingdom?
I don't know the answer to that question and it would seem that the more I grow in these ways the further every one else seems and so much more insurmountable the task of helping them move appears. I really don't know what I am supposed to do. But I was encouraged because as I passed a body of water and gazed at the stillness of it, I felt compelled drop a stone into it. As I did so I watched the ripples move outward until the whole body of water was affected.
Now, although I don't know at all how to change the world or help others come to Jesus, I am convinced that as I seek God's refining in me, the changes He makes can have an affect that will ripple out to potentially everyone I encounter and more. I pray that God would raise up a generation who would go all out for God, counting the cost but reaping the reward for Him.
Rejection
So I think I've nailed something that I hadn't realised so much about myself. I've kind of realised again my pride. Definitely a sin I struggle with. There are times when I struggle with it directly - I have many moments of arrogance, even moments where I readily boast about myself to others - but mostly it is more subtle.
I'm a big advocate of positive self-image. Whilst I don't get to speak to guys about this so much, I find that so many of the girls I speak to have a negative self image. They usually hide it under make up, clothes, and what have you, but loads of girls I speak to think they are fat, ugly, useless, worthless, unlovable and worse. I really wish, I mean that, I really wish I could cure that in these girls. (This is a short aside) Because I'm so sick of the media presenting (and I'm assuming here that this is largely true for guys too) views that have led people to believe these things about themselves. People are beautiful, everyone is gifted and I know that everyone I have ever met is loved by those around them.
I like to think that I've managed to avoid this personally - I have a positive self image. I readily admit my faults, but I know that there are many people who love and care for me. I know where some of strengths lie (public speaking, guitar, theology, etc), I know that I'm a good friend, I think I'm pretty good looking. (Another short aside related to the first - the problem with me writing that is that I automatically appear vain, conceited, arrogant, etc for even having a positive self image, something else I hate about how we've been conditioned in our society).
But whilst I may have avoided this negative self image problem, I have become susceptible to the opposite. I can be proud.
But all of this is really a slight background to what I've been thinking. (I know, it's been an aside with asides in it). I may have a positive self image, but it's not well founded and it causes me big problems.
I know where the best place to build foundations for a positive self image are. They are in the knowledge that I am created in the image of God and deeply, deeply loved by Him. However, whilst I know this and try to build there, I think a lot of my foundations have been built on second grade groundwork. I have realised recently how much my positive self-image and self-worth, which is what this is actually about, are dependent on others.
To an extent that is good - get feedback from others, work together to improve at life, etc, etc - but it holds me back from some growth.
Let me relate it to what I spoke about in my last post. I am afraid to have difficult conversations with those I know, even when I know it's right and when I know I should. And I am afraid because of what could result. Speaking hard truths can lead to very difficult outcomes. For instance, if I speak to a friend about something, they may decide to stop being my friend. One person I know tends to completely stop talking to people who have upset them, to write them out of their life, so for me it would be a real challenge to speak to them about difficult topics because I fear that they might write me out of their life too.
This is all understandable on paper (and I assume you've kept up) but when it comes to real life application it becomes so much harder. And this is why it highlights issues for me.
I am really unprepared to speak to people becuase I don't want to offend them, I don't want to hurt them and I most definitely don't want them to hate me. I have this almost crippling fear of people rejecting me, and so I am too scared to speak to them about things that are important. And that is so sad. So upsetting.
I am so afraid of how people might react to me, and so scared of people potentially hating me, that I won't speak truth to them. Because the problem is truth can hurt.
It is so sad that I am afraid to tell people about Jesus, the best thing in the UNIVERSE, the BEST thing, because I am scared of how they might react to me. The best thing I can do for people is tell them about Jesus, help them to know Him, pray with them, speak truth to them and help them grow in truth and love, but I am afraid to do so because I risk them hating me.
So I need to destroy my pride. It needs to be taken out of me. It needs to go.
I need to realise this truth and let it change me. Because truth can hurt. But if people need truth then I need to give it to them, even if it means hurt.
We as Christians are called to be salt and light in the earth. Salt in a wound heals, but it also stings. Light when you've been in darkness shows you the way but also hurts your eyes. I want to heal people with truth and to show them the way, but it's likely to sting them and hurt.
In fact, this challenges me further, because if it doesn't sting then I'm probably not applying it properly or in large enough amounts. If it doesn't hurt then it's probably not bright enough. So if it doesn't hurt at all, then I'm probably not salt and light to people.
Not only should I be prepared to have people mad at me, upset, offended, hurt and even hating me, I should expect it. Expect it! And what's more I should probably be worried if they aren't. Worried if they aren't!
So that's another challenge for me (or at least an extenstion of that third one). And so my pride needs to go. I must be all about God, advancing His Kingdom and seeing His truth and love spread throughout the world. Whatever the implications are for me. He alone is most important.
I'm a big advocate of positive self-image. Whilst I don't get to speak to guys about this so much, I find that so many of the girls I speak to have a negative self image. They usually hide it under make up, clothes, and what have you, but loads of girls I speak to think they are fat, ugly, useless, worthless, unlovable and worse. I really wish, I mean that, I really wish I could cure that in these girls. (This is a short aside) Because I'm so sick of the media presenting (and I'm assuming here that this is largely true for guys too) views that have led people to believe these things about themselves. People are beautiful, everyone is gifted and I know that everyone I have ever met is loved by those around them.
I like to think that I've managed to avoid this personally - I have a positive self image. I readily admit my faults, but I know that there are many people who love and care for me. I know where some of strengths lie (public speaking, guitar, theology, etc), I know that I'm a good friend, I think I'm pretty good looking. (Another short aside related to the first - the problem with me writing that is that I automatically appear vain, conceited, arrogant, etc for even having a positive self image, something else I hate about how we've been conditioned in our society).
But whilst I may have avoided this negative self image problem, I have become susceptible to the opposite. I can be proud.
But all of this is really a slight background to what I've been thinking. (I know, it's been an aside with asides in it). I may have a positive self image, but it's not well founded and it causes me big problems.
I know where the best place to build foundations for a positive self image are. They are in the knowledge that I am created in the image of God and deeply, deeply loved by Him. However, whilst I know this and try to build there, I think a lot of my foundations have been built on second grade groundwork. I have realised recently how much my positive self-image and self-worth, which is what this is actually about, are dependent on others.
To an extent that is good - get feedback from others, work together to improve at life, etc, etc - but it holds me back from some growth.
Let me relate it to what I spoke about in my last post. I am afraid to have difficult conversations with those I know, even when I know it's right and when I know I should. And I am afraid because of what could result. Speaking hard truths can lead to very difficult outcomes. For instance, if I speak to a friend about something, they may decide to stop being my friend. One person I know tends to completely stop talking to people who have upset them, to write them out of their life, so for me it would be a real challenge to speak to them about difficult topics because I fear that they might write me out of their life too.
This is all understandable on paper (and I assume you've kept up) but when it comes to real life application it becomes so much harder. And this is why it highlights issues for me.
I am really unprepared to speak to people becuase I don't want to offend them, I don't want to hurt them and I most definitely don't want them to hate me. I have this almost crippling fear of people rejecting me, and so I am too scared to speak to them about things that are important. And that is so sad. So upsetting.
I am so afraid of how people might react to me, and so scared of people potentially hating me, that I won't speak truth to them. Because the problem is truth can hurt.
It is so sad that I am afraid to tell people about Jesus, the best thing in the UNIVERSE, the BEST thing, because I am scared of how they might react to me. The best thing I can do for people is tell them about Jesus, help them to know Him, pray with them, speak truth to them and help them grow in truth and love, but I am afraid to do so because I risk them hating me.
So I need to destroy my pride. It needs to be taken out of me. It needs to go.
I need to realise this truth and let it change me. Because truth can hurt. But if people need truth then I need to give it to them, even if it means hurt.
We as Christians are called to be salt and light in the earth. Salt in a wound heals, but it also stings. Light when you've been in darkness shows you the way but also hurts your eyes. I want to heal people with truth and to show them the way, but it's likely to sting them and hurt.
In fact, this challenges me further, because if it doesn't sting then I'm probably not applying it properly or in large enough amounts. If it doesn't hurt then it's probably not bright enough. So if it doesn't hurt at all, then I'm probably not salt and light to people.
Not only should I be prepared to have people mad at me, upset, offended, hurt and even hating me, I should expect it. Expect it! And what's more I should probably be worried if they aren't. Worried if they aren't!
So that's another challenge for me (or at least an extenstion of that third one). And so my pride needs to go. I must be all about God, advancing His Kingdom and seeing His truth and love spread throughout the world. Whatever the implications are for me. He alone is most important.
Thursday, 25 December 2008
Discernment
This is the word for me at the moment.
It's the word at the centre of a lot of my prayers.
I have felt more challenged by things in my walk with God in the past term than I think I ever have before. Cool, but weird and hard.
1)
Firstly, my outlook on money completely changed over the summer. I got this realisation that I am rich. So very rich. You know that half the world, Yes HALF the world, that's 3 billion people live on less than £1 a day. let me break that down for you. That £7 a week. £30ish a month. £365 a year. My rent is £275, my household bills another £75. That's £350. A month. A MONTH. Before luxuries (i.e. nights out, starbucks, cinema, etc.).
I spend in 1 month what HALF THE WORLD GETS IN A WHOLE YEAR.
I also have about £200 a month alloted to myself for direct debits and for my nights out, cinema, etc.
I spend more ON LUXURIES in 2 MONTHS than HALF THE WORLD GETS IN A WHOLE YEAR.
My attitude toward money has changed. Because what I've quoted for myself is my out goings since I have had this in mind. So far this year my tuition loan has obviously gone straight to the University, but I've managed to not touch my Maintenance loan. I get the full Maintenance Grant and the full University Bursary so this has gone towards that first set of bills I mentioned of mine. All my necessities are fortunately paid for by money that I don't have to pay back. That means that any money above that is luxury and on my back. So far I have used money from my birthday, earned from work over the summer and given to me by family for starting uni, and I have some paid work lined up for next year to sort outgoings then.
Basically I am really challenged to think about how much I get over here in the West, how much I take for granted and how much I waste.
I can't really explain any further than that, I think it is perhaps a God given compulsion, but I am challenged to be more and more faithful with what is given to me, and less and less selfish, since I have too much as it is.
Having written that I realise I risk sounding pious, like I'm trying to show how I'm better than everyone else. I don't think that at all. I don't think everyone else in the West is purposefully selfish as such. But I don't think we realise how blessed and fortunate we are, and this is something I have been struck with and challenged by recently, and I wanted to share that with you.
2)
This term I have also felt compelled to seek God for, chase God for, badger God for, demand God for more.
I spoke before about how I don't see Miracles, Healing, Words of Knowledge and so on in my life. I have felt really challenged to seek God for these. I have felt challenged to seek God more fully than I ever have and I feel that I need to see Him do these things or I need to leave Him. This has meant that I have been challenged to start seriously seeking Him in prayer, and to start trying to outwork it in my real life.
I have prayed with non-Christian friends of mine, which is hard to do. To stand up and ask them if I can pray for them. I haven't seen amazing miracles yet. I haven't knowingly encountered words of knowledge or prophecy yet. I haven't seen the healing that I have prayed for. But I know this is the right thing to be doing. I am constantly praying that God would do new things and I long to see it happen. And I believe that it will.
God has already used this though to grow things in me and develop me. It has taught me more about who He is, who I am and who I should be to those around me. It has pushed me out of my comfort zone, but taught me about putting the needs of others first and being a constant witness to my Lord and Saviour.
It is a challenge, but a challenge I take.
3)
The latest thing I have felt challenged about has been to do with speaking. I guess this kinda fits with words of knowledge and prophecy, or at least overlaps a bit. But mainly I feel challenged to talk to people about the important things in life and not back away from difficult topics.
This practically means tough conversations with individuals I know, conversations I'm yet to have as I seek to take on this challenge. I know that this is important because first of all it is what God wants of me. It is important because topics to be covered are important. And it is important because it deals with fundamental aspects of the respective relationships I have with different people. To speak truth into peoples lives can be tough, because a lot of things in life are tough.
To speak about it in a general way, whilst also using a real example, I need to be more prepared to talk directly with people about Jesus. I almost wrote "talk directly with people about my faith", but that makes this about me, and it is only about Him. This is a tough thing, because it is SO important that I speak with people about Jesus. NOTHING in the WHOLE OF LIFE is as important as JESUS and KNOWING HIM. I should not be afraid to back away from conversations about the most important thing to everyone in existence. But for whatever reason, I am.
So I am challenged to be prepared to talk to people about the important things, even if I think it could really challenge the relationship that I have with that person - whether I need to talk to them about their attitude towards others, about their behaviour, about their relationship with God or whatever.
So, I realise that's a lot. But that is where I am at, what is on my heart these days.
Discernment)
To take it back to discernment. This word is key for me at the moment, because it goes on top of everything I've spoken about so far.
I pray for discernment of my use of finances. How can I be most faithful with what I have. How I can I live less selfishly? How can I live more selflessly? How can I use what I have to benefit those around me? How can I use what I have to benefit those in the third world?
I pray for discernment of God's works of power. When should I offer to pray for someones healing? When should I look to God for miracles? How will I know if I have a word of knowledge? How will I know if I have a word of prophecy?
I pray for discernment in my relationships. What do I need to speak to people about? What should I say to them? When should I say it? How should I say it?
In all of these things I need discernment, so I seek God - give me discernment Lord. May I serve you with everything I have. May I serve you faithfully. May I serve you to the best of my ability. May I serve you to the best of your expectation. May your kingdom come.
It's the word at the centre of a lot of my prayers.
I have felt more challenged by things in my walk with God in the past term than I think I ever have before. Cool, but weird and hard.
1)
Firstly, my outlook on money completely changed over the summer. I got this realisation that I am rich. So very rich. You know that half the world, Yes HALF the world, that's 3 billion people live on less than £1 a day. let me break that down for you. That £7 a week. £30ish a month. £365 a year. My rent is £275, my household bills another £75. That's £350. A month. A MONTH. Before luxuries (i.e. nights out, starbucks, cinema, etc.).
I spend in 1 month what HALF THE WORLD GETS IN A WHOLE YEAR.
I also have about £200 a month alloted to myself for direct debits and for my nights out, cinema, etc.
I spend more ON LUXURIES in 2 MONTHS than HALF THE WORLD GETS IN A WHOLE YEAR.
My attitude toward money has changed. Because what I've quoted for myself is my out goings since I have had this in mind. So far this year my tuition loan has obviously gone straight to the University, but I've managed to not touch my Maintenance loan. I get the full Maintenance Grant and the full University Bursary so this has gone towards that first set of bills I mentioned of mine. All my necessities are fortunately paid for by money that I don't have to pay back. That means that any money above that is luxury and on my back. So far I have used money from my birthday, earned from work over the summer and given to me by family for starting uni, and I have some paid work lined up for next year to sort outgoings then.
Basically I am really challenged to think about how much I get over here in the West, how much I take for granted and how much I waste.
I can't really explain any further than that, I think it is perhaps a God given compulsion, but I am challenged to be more and more faithful with what is given to me, and less and less selfish, since I have too much as it is.
Having written that I realise I risk sounding pious, like I'm trying to show how I'm better than everyone else. I don't think that at all. I don't think everyone else in the West is purposefully selfish as such. But I don't think we realise how blessed and fortunate we are, and this is something I have been struck with and challenged by recently, and I wanted to share that with you.
2)
This term I have also felt compelled to seek God for, chase God for, badger God for, demand God for more.
I spoke before about how I don't see Miracles, Healing, Words of Knowledge and so on in my life. I have felt really challenged to seek God for these. I have felt challenged to seek God more fully than I ever have and I feel that I need to see Him do these things or I need to leave Him. This has meant that I have been challenged to start seriously seeking Him in prayer, and to start trying to outwork it in my real life.
I have prayed with non-Christian friends of mine, which is hard to do. To stand up and ask them if I can pray for them. I haven't seen amazing miracles yet. I haven't knowingly encountered words of knowledge or prophecy yet. I haven't seen the healing that I have prayed for. But I know this is the right thing to be doing. I am constantly praying that God would do new things and I long to see it happen. And I believe that it will.
God has already used this though to grow things in me and develop me. It has taught me more about who He is, who I am and who I should be to those around me. It has pushed me out of my comfort zone, but taught me about putting the needs of others first and being a constant witness to my Lord and Saviour.
It is a challenge, but a challenge I take.
3)
The latest thing I have felt challenged about has been to do with speaking. I guess this kinda fits with words of knowledge and prophecy, or at least overlaps a bit. But mainly I feel challenged to talk to people about the important things in life and not back away from difficult topics.
This practically means tough conversations with individuals I know, conversations I'm yet to have as I seek to take on this challenge. I know that this is important because first of all it is what God wants of me. It is important because topics to be covered are important. And it is important because it deals with fundamental aspects of the respective relationships I have with different people. To speak truth into peoples lives can be tough, because a lot of things in life are tough.
To speak about it in a general way, whilst also using a real example, I need to be more prepared to talk directly with people about Jesus. I almost wrote "talk directly with people about my faith", but that makes this about me, and it is only about Him. This is a tough thing, because it is SO important that I speak with people about Jesus. NOTHING in the WHOLE OF LIFE is as important as JESUS and KNOWING HIM. I should not be afraid to back away from conversations about the most important thing to everyone in existence. But for whatever reason, I am.
So I am challenged to be prepared to talk to people about the important things, even if I think it could really challenge the relationship that I have with that person - whether I need to talk to them about their attitude towards others, about their behaviour, about their relationship with God or whatever.
So, I realise that's a lot. But that is where I am at, what is on my heart these days.
Discernment)
To take it back to discernment. This word is key for me at the moment, because it goes on top of everything I've spoken about so far.
I pray for discernment of my use of finances. How can I be most faithful with what I have. How I can I live less selfishly? How can I live more selflessly? How can I use what I have to benefit those around me? How can I use what I have to benefit those in the third world?
I pray for discernment of God's works of power. When should I offer to pray for someones healing? When should I look to God for miracles? How will I know if I have a word of knowledge? How will I know if I have a word of prophecy?
I pray for discernment in my relationships. What do I need to speak to people about? What should I say to them? When should I say it? How should I say it?
In all of these things I need discernment, so I seek God - give me discernment Lord. May I serve you with everything I have. May I serve you faithfully. May I serve you to the best of my ability. May I serve you to the best of your expectation. May your kingdom come.
Where I am
Expect this.
There will probably be big gaps in my blog as it goes along. There is between the last one I posted and this one. I only really want to post when I really feel that I have stuff to talk about, rather than talk for the sake of talking.
Today is Christmas - and I wish it was more.
That's not me saying I wish I had gotten more, eaten more, done more - in fact, I've had a great day - I've done a fair few things, I've eaten too much, and I definitely own too much.
It's not to say that Christmas doesn't feel like it did as a kid. It doesn't, but that's expected.
What I mean is that it is really hard to find Christmas these days. Really hard. And I get that that must sound weird - each year we have all this advertising Christmas, in shops, decorations in the streets, our houses and so on so that we can't miss it. We even have all those people who go on about the real meaning of Christmas - all those films that talk about love, or family, or giving. Occasionally we get the people who get even closer and talk a bit about Jesus. But even still, I don't think we find Christmas.
If I'm totally honest, knowledge of God, His grace and His favour have not been at the centre of my day. And I even went to church for the Christmas service this morning (and midnight mass last night for that matter).
Christmas is about a lot of things, I'll give you that.
These days it is about gifts, it is about decorations, it is about giving, it is about receiving, it is about family, it is about love. But at the centre it is about Jesus.
It is about his birth, it is about the shepherds, it is about the manger. But at the centre it is about God, coming to earth for you.
The problem I'm having now is that that is one of the messages we hear at Christmas. Repeated parrot fashion. We know it. We think we do anyway.
But stop. Stop there. Think. God came to earth for you. Jesus was born for YOU. Stop for a minute and think about that. Go on, right now, stop, think about it, come back to this blog when you've thought about it for a bit. God came for you. Go and think about that. Go on.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
It's big.
This year, may you realise the significance of Christmas, really realise it.
Because my words can never do that justice. I pray you encounter the significance of that realisation and that you encounter Jesus for yourself. He is all you need.
There will probably be big gaps in my blog as it goes along. There is between the last one I posted and this one. I only really want to post when I really feel that I have stuff to talk about, rather than talk for the sake of talking.
Today is Christmas - and I wish it was more.
That's not me saying I wish I had gotten more, eaten more, done more - in fact, I've had a great day - I've done a fair few things, I've eaten too much, and I definitely own too much.
It's not to say that Christmas doesn't feel like it did as a kid. It doesn't, but that's expected.
What I mean is that it is really hard to find Christmas these days. Really hard. And I get that that must sound weird - each year we have all this advertising Christmas, in shops, decorations in the streets, our houses and so on so that we can't miss it. We even have all those people who go on about the real meaning of Christmas - all those films that talk about love, or family, or giving. Occasionally we get the people who get even closer and talk a bit about Jesus. But even still, I don't think we find Christmas.
If I'm totally honest, knowledge of God, His grace and His favour have not been at the centre of my day. And I even went to church for the Christmas service this morning (and midnight mass last night for that matter).
Christmas is about a lot of things, I'll give you that.
These days it is about gifts, it is about decorations, it is about giving, it is about receiving, it is about family, it is about love. But at the centre it is about Jesus.
It is about his birth, it is about the shepherds, it is about the manger. But at the centre it is about God, coming to earth for you.
The problem I'm having now is that that is one of the messages we hear at Christmas. Repeated parrot fashion. We know it. We think we do anyway.
But stop. Stop there. Think. God came to earth for you. Jesus was born for YOU. Stop for a minute and think about that. Go on, right now, stop, think about it, come back to this blog when you've thought about it for a bit. God came for you. Go and think about that. Go on.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
It's big.
This year, may you realise the significance of Christmas, really realise it.
Because my words can never do that justice. I pray you encounter the significance of that realisation and that you encounter Jesus for yourself. He is all you need.
Saturday, 22 November 2008
Taking Discipleship Seriously
How seriously do we take our discipleship? I mean really?
(I know this is the second post immediately after the last but I had more and wanted to separate it, because really it is separate)
I've been reading a book called "Ten Things I Wish Jesus Never Said". Interesting title I know (He originally wanted to call it "Ten Tings I Hate About Jesus" but the publishers suggested otherwise. Shame though, cause he's trying to pick up on the difficult stuff Jesus said). Basically it examines some of the hardest teachings of Jesus (e.g. 'if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out' and 'If anyone would come after me he must deny himself and take up his cross daily') and what they mean if we take them seriously insead of ignoring them becuase they're hard.
I really felt challenged reading this morning and wanted to share my thoughts.
As Christians, are we prepared to go all out for Christ? This question gets asked a lot, and we like to answer yes. I mean, how can we answer no? But in reality it's a question we have to wrestle with on our own, not when a speaker asks it in a sermon, or somewhere else equally disattached from real life. I've wrestled with it in the past but find it a question I constantly have to return to. Because, as Christians, we all tend to like to say "I would die for Jesus", and that's cool, but the question is followed with "Would you live for Him?". Today I have felt another question is appropriate, although it is going to sound strange - "Would you be the living dead for Him?".
Let me clarify. We are prepared to die and we are prepared to live our lives with Him in them. But I don't think that this is really enough. I mean, I think it goes deeper. If you say you are prepared to die for Him then I ask you this "are you prepared to spend months being tortured for Him?". Not so easy to answer anymore, I mean, if you think about that fully. None of us hope for a painful death, and I don't believe God exactly sits down and decides who to subject that to, but when we answer that question about dying for Him, have we thought it through? Obviously we hope He wouldn't let that happen to us, but if it came to it, are we really prepared to be tortured for Him?
So for that weird question, if we say dying for Him needs to be considered to the next level, as above, then what about living for Him?
Are we prepared to be the living dead? To remain living, but to have given up everything of what we consider to have been our lives? And I don't mean in a pack-your-bags-move-to-a-distant-place-to-be-a-missionary giving-up-what-is-our-lives way. I mean something deeper. And this is where it gets hard, for me and for all of us.
We take things for granted and think that God won't ask us to give them up. In fact we even consider them necessary for kingdom growth. I'm going to discuss this with one example, but it can be transfered further.
You, no doubt, have plenty of non-Christian friends. Are you prepared to lose them for Christ?
Many of us think that by being friends with the world we will make the gospel more attractive. And that if we become truly Christlike then the world will be attracted to us.
The thing is, a more biblically accurate statement would be that the more Christlike we become, the more the world will hate us. How prepared are we for that.
Again, that's not what we're pursuing directly, but if we look honestly, we know there's a good risk it's the case. I have to ask myself, is my discipleship (and therefore my witness to the world) suffering because I think I have to maintain these friendships. Don't get me wrong, I most definitly want to. But what if following Christ closer, as in my last post, means that people start to disown us as friends, or even persecute us. Because I think we misunderstand that word, persecute. We hear it in church and agree that believers will be persecuted, but we seem to think that means other believers, or that it means we wont be allowed to put a sign up in the town centre saying Christmas, we'll have to put up Winterville. But when we stop (and so much of this requires time of personal reflection) and think about it - that is what persecution would really be like. Our friends disown or abuse us, because we start following Christ further.
Sometimes, even, we should ask ourselves "If the world doesn't hate me, am I really become Christlike?", since Jesus told us that as the world hated Him it would hate us.
I realise that this is heavy, but I think it should be. I'm not advocating trying to lose friends. I'm not suggesting we need to get rid of things in our lives, but we need to constantly wrestle with the idea that as we get into closer fellowship with God, a lot of these kinds of things may have to be given up, even when we think they are good.
So my challenge is simply to consider how much you are really willing to give up for Christ. Your life (i.e. dying)? OR also your living (i.e. everything about your life)? Anything of your living that may get in the way? Even things that you think are good, like friendships?
Again, I find myself wondering what the Church would be like if we were like that. How much more powerful would the Church be if we pursued Christ relentlessly, even if it cost friendships and other things we think are important? Would revival spread?
(I know this is the second post immediately after the last but I had more and wanted to separate it, because really it is separate)
I've been reading a book called "Ten Things I Wish Jesus Never Said". Interesting title I know (He originally wanted to call it "Ten Tings I Hate About Jesus" but the publishers suggested otherwise. Shame though, cause he's trying to pick up on the difficult stuff Jesus said). Basically it examines some of the hardest teachings of Jesus (e.g. 'if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out' and 'If anyone would come after me he must deny himself and take up his cross daily') and what they mean if we take them seriously insead of ignoring them becuase they're hard.
I really felt challenged reading this morning and wanted to share my thoughts.
As Christians, are we prepared to go all out for Christ? This question gets asked a lot, and we like to answer yes. I mean, how can we answer no? But in reality it's a question we have to wrestle with on our own, not when a speaker asks it in a sermon, or somewhere else equally disattached from real life. I've wrestled with it in the past but find it a question I constantly have to return to. Because, as Christians, we all tend to like to say "I would die for Jesus", and that's cool, but the question is followed with "Would you live for Him?". Today I have felt another question is appropriate, although it is going to sound strange - "Would you be the living dead for Him?".
Let me clarify. We are prepared to die and we are prepared to live our lives with Him in them. But I don't think that this is really enough. I mean, I think it goes deeper. If you say you are prepared to die for Him then I ask you this "are you prepared to spend months being tortured for Him?". Not so easy to answer anymore, I mean, if you think about that fully. None of us hope for a painful death, and I don't believe God exactly sits down and decides who to subject that to, but when we answer that question about dying for Him, have we thought it through? Obviously we hope He wouldn't let that happen to us, but if it came to it, are we really prepared to be tortured for Him?
So for that weird question, if we say dying for Him needs to be considered to the next level, as above, then what about living for Him?
Are we prepared to be the living dead? To remain living, but to have given up everything of what we consider to have been our lives? And I don't mean in a pack-your-bags-move-to-a-distant-place-to-be-a-missionary giving-up-what-is-our-lives way. I mean something deeper. And this is where it gets hard, for me and for all of us.
We take things for granted and think that God won't ask us to give them up. In fact we even consider them necessary for kingdom growth. I'm going to discuss this with one example, but it can be transfered further.
You, no doubt, have plenty of non-Christian friends. Are you prepared to lose them for Christ?
Many of us think that by being friends with the world we will make the gospel more attractive. And that if we become truly Christlike then the world will be attracted to us.
The thing is, a more biblically accurate statement would be that the more Christlike we become, the more the world will hate us. How prepared are we for that.
Again, that's not what we're pursuing directly, but if we look honestly, we know there's a good risk it's the case. I have to ask myself, is my discipleship (and therefore my witness to the world) suffering because I think I have to maintain these friendships. Don't get me wrong, I most definitly want to. But what if following Christ closer, as in my last post, means that people start to disown us as friends, or even persecute us. Because I think we misunderstand that word, persecute. We hear it in church and agree that believers will be persecuted, but we seem to think that means other believers, or that it means we wont be allowed to put a sign up in the town centre saying Christmas, we'll have to put up Winterville. But when we stop (and so much of this requires time of personal reflection) and think about it - that is what persecution would really be like. Our friends disown or abuse us, because we start following Christ further.
Sometimes, even, we should ask ourselves "If the world doesn't hate me, am I really become Christlike?", since Jesus told us that as the world hated Him it would hate us.
I realise that this is heavy, but I think it should be. I'm not advocating trying to lose friends. I'm not suggesting we need to get rid of things in our lives, but we need to constantly wrestle with the idea that as we get into closer fellowship with God, a lot of these kinds of things may have to be given up, even when we think they are good.
So my challenge is simply to consider how much you are really willing to give up for Christ. Your life (i.e. dying)? OR also your living (i.e. everything about your life)? Anything of your living that may get in the way? Even things that you think are good, like friendships?
Again, I find myself wondering what the Church would be like if we were like that. How much more powerful would the Church be if we pursued Christ relentlessly, even if it cost friendships and other things we think are important? Would revival spread?
How should we be?
So I've been challenged to go deeper with God recently, to really step it up a notch in how my relationship with Him looks.
I've found myself in an interesting quandary since getting to uni.
See, if I'm honest with you, I find it easy to think that I've got it sorted as a Christian, that I'm doing pretty well. I mean, I can point to things that make it look like I must be on track and generally great - like 3 years with Youth For Christ. I mean I must be doing well to have achieved that. However, stuff like that is a load of rubbish.
I've felt more challenged about stepping up in my walk with God since coming to uni than I think I ever did on YFC. Not to say that I never felt challenged on YFC, I did, a lot. But this is different. This is like next level stuff.
Before, I felt that I needed to grow in things and I definitly feel that that has happened, but I've reached a point now where it feels like I need to do one of two things - take the next step and level it up, or walk away from it all.
I've been wrestling with what God about His power at work in the world and feel like that is the conclusion I have reached. Because I don't see Him at work in the ways that I think He should be. I don't see miracles in my life, I don't see healings, I don't see Words of Knowledge and so on, but I believe I should. Not because I think I should see them because I'm me, but because I think as disciples we should see them. Jesus and the disciples ministries and the life of the early church was soaked in this kind of stuff and yet I don't see it. So I feel that I have reached a point where one of two things is the case - either God is not there (and so I walk away), or I'm so far from where I should be as a disciple (and need to step it up).
As an aside, that walking away part sounds so tempting. It's so easy, there's all those lures of a pleasure based life that I could succumb to, and Satan keeps reminding me of that. I have felt more tempted by that kind of stuff recently than I think I ever have. Thank God that I have a strong foundation in Christ and in the Church, that I know going for this would not be worth it, no matter how appealing it became.
So I'm left with trying to work out how to step it up. If I want to see miracles, healing, etc but I'm not, what about me needs to change? And I really feel that God's been talking to me about this. I went to a day conference thing called Jesus Culture a few weeks back and that was all about this, and ever since it's constantly in my head and I feel challenged about it everywhere - in conversation with other Christians, in church, in my own prayer times.
But this part sucks because it requires me to drastically change. Y'kno there's the general growth we need - like reading our bibles more, praying more, etc - but this is something else. If I want to see this kind of stuff not only doI need to pray for it, etc, but I need to start seeing, creating and taking opportunities for it. If I want to see healing then I need to pray for people who are sick or injured. If I want Words of Knowledge for people then I need to pray for them and then actually speak to them about it when I feel I have something.
So this is why I'm in a hard place. On the one hand I know that I need to start this kind of stuff. Spending time praying about it then actually going out to try and see it happen. On the other hand, if I don't, the only real option is for me to walk away from it all, which tempting as that may be, is not allowed to happen.
It makes me wonder though. How much more powerful would the Church be if we all thought about it like this. I mean I suspect many would take the second option. But if they went for the first, really too discipleship seriously, wouldn't that rock the world just like back in the first century?
I've found myself in an interesting quandary since getting to uni.
See, if I'm honest with you, I find it easy to think that I've got it sorted as a Christian, that I'm doing pretty well. I mean, I can point to things that make it look like I must be on track and generally great - like 3 years with Youth For Christ. I mean I must be doing well to have achieved that. However, stuff like that is a load of rubbish.
I've felt more challenged about stepping up in my walk with God since coming to uni than I think I ever did on YFC. Not to say that I never felt challenged on YFC, I did, a lot. But this is different. This is like next level stuff.
Before, I felt that I needed to grow in things and I definitly feel that that has happened, but I've reached a point now where it feels like I need to do one of two things - take the next step and level it up, or walk away from it all.
I've been wrestling with what God about His power at work in the world and feel like that is the conclusion I have reached. Because I don't see Him at work in the ways that I think He should be. I don't see miracles in my life, I don't see healings, I don't see Words of Knowledge and so on, but I believe I should. Not because I think I should see them because I'm me, but because I think as disciples we should see them. Jesus and the disciples ministries and the life of the early church was soaked in this kind of stuff and yet I don't see it. So I feel that I have reached a point where one of two things is the case - either God is not there (and so I walk away), or I'm so far from where I should be as a disciple (and need to step it up).
As an aside, that walking away part sounds so tempting. It's so easy, there's all those lures of a pleasure based life that I could succumb to, and Satan keeps reminding me of that. I have felt more tempted by that kind of stuff recently than I think I ever have. Thank God that I have a strong foundation in Christ and in the Church, that I know going for this would not be worth it, no matter how appealing it became.
So I'm left with trying to work out how to step it up. If I want to see miracles, healing, etc but I'm not, what about me needs to change? And I really feel that God's been talking to me about this. I went to a day conference thing called Jesus Culture a few weeks back and that was all about this, and ever since it's constantly in my head and I feel challenged about it everywhere - in conversation with other Christians, in church, in my own prayer times.
But this part sucks because it requires me to drastically change. Y'kno there's the general growth we need - like reading our bibles more, praying more, etc - but this is something else. If I want to see this kind of stuff not only doI need to pray for it, etc, but I need to start seeing, creating and taking opportunities for it. If I want to see healing then I need to pray for people who are sick or injured. If I want Words of Knowledge for people then I need to pray for them and then actually speak to them about it when I feel I have something.
So this is why I'm in a hard place. On the one hand I know that I need to start this kind of stuff. Spending time praying about it then actually going out to try and see it happen. On the other hand, if I don't, the only real option is for me to walk away from it all, which tempting as that may be, is not allowed to happen.
It makes me wonder though. How much more powerful would the Church be if we all thought about it like this. I mean I suspect many would take the second option. But if they went for the first, really too discipleship seriously, wouldn't that rock the world just like back in the first century?
Thursday, 13 November 2008
You're my healer
So something that's been on my mind recently is the whole fiasco with Mike Gugliulmucci.
In case you don't know who he is, Mike Gugliulmucci (interesting name I know) is an Australian Pastor who for the last 2 years was travelling around Christian conferences and churches sharing about his struggle with cancer. He has been encouraging people in their struggles and generally being an inspiration to Christians around the world. One thing he did was that he wrote an amazing song, very moving and powerful, called "Healer". I recommend listening to it:
I saw him during the 24 hours I was at Soul Survivor A this year. He told us about how he had been diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer and hadnt expected to still be alive, but here he was. It was like a miracle, as he spoke about the encouraging things that he has seen since being diagnosed and we all sang this song together. It was very inspiring, and, like many other Christians around the world had done so far already, we spent time together, right there praying for him.
However, recently it has been revealed that he lied. He doesn't have cancer and never did. The truth has now come out that he made up the story of cancer to cover up his secret shame - being addicted to pornography since being a young teenager. He became so consumed with guilt that it started manifesting physically - he was violently sick at times, he did find himself needing the oxygen tube for real and he did lose his hair. But he made up the cancer to avoid the truth - to keep others from the truth and to keep himself from it. But it meant that he went around the world and lied to tens, if not hundreds, of thousands of people.
Unsurprisingly, people have spoken about their shock at discovering this. I felt so weird when I discovered it was a lie - knowing what that meant globally.
But the thing I find amazing about it all is the other response, and this really encourages me. Go and youtube him and watch the clip of him on the TodayTonight show. This covers the story in some more detail and shows responses.
What I am encouraged by is the fact that most of the people who respond, including those from his own church, are supportive! It's great! This could have stirred such an outrage and done a lot of major damage to the church. Now I know that it has caused hurt and damage and I'm not retracting from that, but the response is a truly Christian one. People recognise that he is only human, that he has messed up and that "we've all sinned".
Yes people have spoken out about betrayal and so on, but most of the comments I have come across are forgiving and kind. Christians are urging each other to forgive him and where they prayed for his physical healing they now pray for his emotional healing, spiritual healing, the healing of his marriage and so on.
I love the church that turns are to the person in their midst who has betrayed them and forgives him and prays for him further.
That is the church that Jesus came to make, the Kingdom he called into the world. Let's see more of that!
Bring it on!
In case you don't know who he is, Mike Gugliulmucci (interesting name I know) is an Australian Pastor who for the last 2 years was travelling around Christian conferences and churches sharing about his struggle with cancer. He has been encouraging people in their struggles and generally being an inspiration to Christians around the world. One thing he did was that he wrote an amazing song, very moving and powerful, called "Healer". I recommend listening to it:
I saw him during the 24 hours I was at Soul Survivor A this year. He told us about how he had been diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer and hadnt expected to still be alive, but here he was. It was like a miracle, as he spoke about the encouraging things that he has seen since being diagnosed and we all sang this song together. It was very inspiring, and, like many other Christians around the world had done so far already, we spent time together, right there praying for him.
However, recently it has been revealed that he lied. He doesn't have cancer and never did. The truth has now come out that he made up the story of cancer to cover up his secret shame - being addicted to pornography since being a young teenager. He became so consumed with guilt that it started manifesting physically - he was violently sick at times, he did find himself needing the oxygen tube for real and he did lose his hair. But he made up the cancer to avoid the truth - to keep others from the truth and to keep himself from it. But it meant that he went around the world and lied to tens, if not hundreds, of thousands of people.
Unsurprisingly, people have spoken about their shock at discovering this. I felt so weird when I discovered it was a lie - knowing what that meant globally.
But the thing I find amazing about it all is the other response, and this really encourages me. Go and youtube him and watch the clip of him on the TodayTonight show. This covers the story in some more detail and shows responses.
What I am encouraged by is the fact that most of the people who respond, including those from his own church, are supportive! It's great! This could have stirred such an outrage and done a lot of major damage to the church. Now I know that it has caused hurt and damage and I'm not retracting from that, but the response is a truly Christian one. People recognise that he is only human, that he has messed up and that "we've all sinned".
Yes people have spoken out about betrayal and so on, but most of the comments I have come across are forgiving and kind. Christians are urging each other to forgive him and where they prayed for his physical healing they now pray for his emotional healing, spiritual healing, the healing of his marriage and so on.
I love the church that turns are to the person in their midst who has betrayed them and forgives him and prays for him further.
That is the church that Jesus came to make, the Kingdom he called into the world. Let's see more of that!
Bring it on!
Wednesday, 12 November 2008
Is it worth doing?
So I've been reading the blogs of several friends and have found them to be something that draws me in. It's so inspiring and encouraging to see my friends share their life experiences and how God is working in and through them.
So I'm giving it a go again. I've taken stabs at blog writing before, usually setting myself rigid goals or things to work too. I think that might be why I get rubbish at them. I'm just gonna let this be somewhere to write if and when I want to. No commitments, no necessity.
Cause I've always wanted somewhere to just record what's going on, what I'm thinking, what I see God doing; as a way of being able to focus on it myself, but also because I really want to share some of the things I discover. I want to be able to help people know more. I dont expect to start a revolution through this, but if I can inspire people a little in the ways that they inspire me, well that's a start.
I mean life is new again for me. I'm at Uni now, finally. And I'm finding new challenges and struggles to work through. I've had a load of experiences so far that are already lost somewhere in memory, but I hope I can record somethings here and, who knows, see something happen.
Becuase God is good. I don't understand him and heck I don't even get what's going on in my own head, but I know that. God is good. I hope I can show that to people in the things that I do and say and in the ways that I live.
We'll see.
So I'm giving it a go again. I've taken stabs at blog writing before, usually setting myself rigid goals or things to work too. I think that might be why I get rubbish at them. I'm just gonna let this be somewhere to write if and when I want to. No commitments, no necessity.
Cause I've always wanted somewhere to just record what's going on, what I'm thinking, what I see God doing; as a way of being able to focus on it myself, but also because I really want to share some of the things I discover. I want to be able to help people know more. I dont expect to start a revolution through this, but if I can inspire people a little in the ways that they inspire me, well that's a start.
I mean life is new again for me. I'm at Uni now, finally. And I'm finding new challenges and struggles to work through. I've had a load of experiences so far that are already lost somewhere in memory, but I hope I can record somethings here and, who knows, see something happen.
Becuase God is good. I don't understand him and heck I don't even get what's going on in my own head, but I know that. God is good. I hope I can show that to people in the things that I do and say and in the ways that I live.
We'll see.
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